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ostarellaYesterday was my 54th birthday. I took the day off from guilt. I took a long hot shower, lay wrapped in a blanket watching movies, did some writing, and didn't allow myself to think about the dishes I hadn't washed, or the dusting I hadn't done, or the fact that I still haven't taken down the Christmas tree. (I kinda like having its lights on while the rest of the house is dark at night.)
And I wrote up my funeral arrangements.
Not as morbid a thing to do on one's birthday as it would seem. I've always looked at my birthday as basically my New Year's Day. The day I sit back and reflect on what I've done, what I didn't. Think about the things I should have done and then move on, dismissing regrets and making plans.
And one of those things I should have done is make plans for my demise. Considering the health issues over the last few months, it was the sensible, practical and caring thing to do. Save my family the headaches and stress we went through when my parents died.
So I now have life insurance selected to pay off any debts (and the costs of getting rid of my body) and my wishes are all written down - the funeral home I want to handle things, the cremation, the memorial service, where to scatter my ashes. Even the music and the kinds of flowers I want. Tells my family where my important papers are, who to contact. The only thing I got stuck on was who to ask to give the eulogy. I guess because I'm not even sure I want one. I'm not really having a "funeral" as such. I think I want it to be more of a kaffee-klatsch. Of course, considering the relationship I have with my ever-shrinking family, and that most of my friends are scattered over the four corners of the earth, a "standard" funeral would probably be overkill anyway. But it's said that funerals are for the living, not the dead, so there needs to be something, I guess.
Another idea is to give my own eulogy via DVD. Of course, that wouldn't really be a eulogy as much as my "last words" to my family. And I kinda like that idea. A chance to say all the sappy things I'd never say in "real life", even though I've wanted to. But we're of solid, stoic Norwegian/German/Scots stock, so displays of emotion are... well, discouraged. I guess that's another good reason for funerals. It gives people the "excuse" to let it all hang out.
So anyway, I feel better having that accomplished. I took my time, thought about things, changed my mind and then thought some more. At least now it's done and I can send a copy to my brother and my son, so they'll know in advance what to do. No surprises, no stressing over the necessities.
Peace of mind. That's nice.
And I wrote up my funeral arrangements.
Not as morbid a thing to do on one's birthday as it would seem. I've always looked at my birthday as basically my New Year's Day. The day I sit back and reflect on what I've done, what I didn't. Think about the things I should have done and then move on, dismissing regrets and making plans.
And one of those things I should have done is make plans for my demise. Considering the health issues over the last few months, it was the sensible, practical and caring thing to do. Save my family the headaches and stress we went through when my parents died.
So I now have life insurance selected to pay off any debts (and the costs of getting rid of my body) and my wishes are all written down - the funeral home I want to handle things, the cremation, the memorial service, where to scatter my ashes. Even the music and the kinds of flowers I want. Tells my family where my important papers are, who to contact. The only thing I got stuck on was who to ask to give the eulogy. I guess because I'm not even sure I want one. I'm not really having a "funeral" as such. I think I want it to be more of a kaffee-klatsch. Of course, considering the relationship I have with my ever-shrinking family, and that most of my friends are scattered over the four corners of the earth, a "standard" funeral would probably be overkill anyway. But it's said that funerals are for the living, not the dead, so there needs to be something, I guess.
Another idea is to give my own eulogy via DVD. Of course, that wouldn't really be a eulogy as much as my "last words" to my family. And I kinda like that idea. A chance to say all the sappy things I'd never say in "real life", even though I've wanted to. But we're of solid, stoic Norwegian/German/Scots stock, so displays of emotion are... well, discouraged. I guess that's another good reason for funerals. It gives people the "excuse" to let it all hang out.
So anyway, I feel better having that accomplished. I took my time, thought about things, changed my mind and then thought some more. At least now it's done and I can send a copy to my brother and my son, so they'll know in advance what to do. No surprises, no stressing over the necessities.
Peace of mind. That's nice.
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no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 07:41 pm (UTC)I need to ask my dad what he wants... as he's moved here with me in the South West, but my brother is London-way... But it's not really something I want to bring up in conversation... he's probably got another good 20 years (or 30) in him - gosh I hope! I think one day I'm just going to say "we don't need to discuss this... but just make sure you have what you want written down." :D
I had this little *joke* a while back on Lj about being run over by a bus... if I disappeared offline suddenly, should I have a back up plan for those unfinished stories lol!!!! (strange things I worry about).
Glad you did sit and put your feet up. When it's your birthday, you can do no wrong :D
So what's for the future? Whens the next chapter of Covenant?
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 07:50 pm (UTC)There is a site where you can register your name, and list all the online contacts you want notified. The next of kin still has to produce proof of death, but once they do, notifications are sent to all the contacts you've listed there. My biggest worry is what happens to my website!!! LOL
Covenant! Oh, you nag! :D Now that I've got some spark back, I'm hoping to have the rest of 58 done in the next week to 10 days, tops, and I want the whole thing finished by end of February, maybe into March. But I have to do a lot of reviewing of the episodes for that - make sure I "send them on" to the series properly ;-)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 08:09 pm (UTC)Hey - I totally understand that :D You could always arrange for payment for 10 years or so in advance :P Or would your son take care of it? ...Maybe as MadBetas we need to recruit someone way younger... so they can look after all our websites :-P
Isn't that part of being a MadBeta? #298399 in the Madbeta Core Directive - must nag fellow Madbetas when they start lagging on their stories?
Hey, you give me pages of corrections (which I so need and am 10% grateful for)) and I give you nagging (as I can't give you the same kind of corrections/beta-ing :-P)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 08:17 pm (UTC)I always miss the fine print...
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 08:17 pm (UTC)Only 10% ?!!! LOL
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 08:33 pm (UTC)