Stepping back
Mar. 20th, 2009 09:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ostarellaMaybe it's being born in the *very* American Midwest, where plain speaking and independent thinking is a way of life. Or maybe it comes from being the last born of the family, a position where what one says is smiled at with indulgence and dismissed. Maybe it was being turned down for a job simply because "ladies" would be offended at the language used by the current workers.
Yeah.
So I have this thing about rights. I tend to get angry with people who try to curtail those rights, or intimidate others so they can't enjoy those rights. The right to associate with whomever they want. The right to voice their opinion, however unpopular. The right to be themselves.
Sometimes that anger works. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes people take on that anger for themselves and say, "Enough is enough!" And they state their opinions and they go where they want. They accept their right to be themselves.
Sometimes it doesn't work so well. Sometimes I find that anger oozes into the very thing that was the cause of the dispute. And something that I enjoyed becomes a constant reminder of the anger and frustrations.
And that makes me even angrier.
It's a vicious cycle that only I can stop.
I enjoy writing fictional stories. I enjoy writing them about a silly little TV show that had characters I liked. I enjoy taking those characters and "continuing" the show. I enjoy taking those characters and expanding my writing skills. Developing skills at dialogue, at developing a plot line, deepening a characterization. Even learning how to research - how to check facts, see if what I want to do could be done. And dreaming of the day when I could feel confident enough to take those skills and write something completely and uniquely my own.
It's fanfic. It's not going to change the world or earn a Pulitzer. But it brings enjoyment - to me, to those who read it. It gives me a challenge, and at the same time, a confirmation that there is indeed something I can do well. It's a hobby and more. No, it's not the do-all and end-all of my life.
But it's important to me.
And that's why I want others to be able to say what they think, and "gather" (as one does on the 'net anyway) with whomever they want. I want them to have those rights. It's important. But it's just as important to leave the anger and the frustration aside and get back to enjoying what it was that started the whole mess in the first place.
In the world of macrobiotics, a recurring theme is balance. Yin and yang. So I need to leave the anger and the frustration and say, "Okay. We've got a place where people can join in, and if they want to, welcome. If they aren't ready, feel intimidated, feel disloyal - well, when they are ready, no longer feel intimidated, realize that there can be more than one place to talk - welcome."
And in the meantime, I'm going to take a breath, and enjoy hearty discussions, and exchanging ideas, even if there are only a few who join me. I'm going to go back to my silly little TV show and have some smiles. But mostly, I'm going to sit at my pc and do the thing that was all I really wanted to do in the first place.
I'm going to write.
Yeah.
So I have this thing about rights. I tend to get angry with people who try to curtail those rights, or intimidate others so they can't enjoy those rights. The right to associate with whomever they want. The right to voice their opinion, however unpopular. The right to be themselves.
Sometimes that anger works. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes people take on that anger for themselves and say, "Enough is enough!" And they state their opinions and they go where they want. They accept their right to be themselves.
Sometimes it doesn't work so well. Sometimes I find that anger oozes into the very thing that was the cause of the dispute. And something that I enjoyed becomes a constant reminder of the anger and frustrations.
And that makes me even angrier.
It's a vicious cycle that only I can stop.
I enjoy writing fictional stories. I enjoy writing them about a silly little TV show that had characters I liked. I enjoy taking those characters and "continuing" the show. I enjoy taking those characters and expanding my writing skills. Developing skills at dialogue, at developing a plot line, deepening a characterization. Even learning how to research - how to check facts, see if what I want to do could be done. And dreaming of the day when I could feel confident enough to take those skills and write something completely and uniquely my own.
It's fanfic. It's not going to change the world or earn a Pulitzer. But it brings enjoyment - to me, to those who read it. It gives me a challenge, and at the same time, a confirmation that there is indeed something I can do well. It's a hobby and more. No, it's not the do-all and end-all of my life.
But it's important to me.
And that's why I want others to be able to say what they think, and "gather" (as one does on the 'net anyway) with whomever they want. I want them to have those rights. It's important. But it's just as important to leave the anger and the frustration aside and get back to enjoying what it was that started the whole mess in the first place.
In the world of macrobiotics, a recurring theme is balance. Yin and yang. So I need to leave the anger and the frustration and say, "Okay. We've got a place where people can join in, and if they want to, welcome. If they aren't ready, feel intimidated, feel disloyal - well, when they are ready, no longer feel intimidated, realize that there can be more than one place to talk - welcome."
And in the meantime, I'm going to take a breath, and enjoy hearty discussions, and exchanging ideas, even if there are only a few who join me. I'm going to go back to my silly little TV show and have some smiles. But mostly, I'm going to sit at my pc and do the thing that was all I really wanted to do in the first place.
I'm going to write.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-03-20 07:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-20 07:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-20 08:19 pm (UTC)Yay fic writing for fun/personal etertainment/personal betterment.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-20 08:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-21 07:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-20 11:52 pm (UTC)As a newbie and an 'outsider' and someone who chose not to get invovled in the 'discussion' elsewhere. The saddest part about it all is now I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I like people from both sides of the issue, and its making things very awkward.
Worse, no one is talking. JFM already knows that I would love some place to go just to discuss plot, get ideas, brainstorm, TALK for crying out loud! Over a silly little show I watched over 25 years ago, and fell madly in love with.
Like you I just like to write fic for the enjoyment and 'continuation' of the adventure.
For a while now I've been stalled on 45000 word fic, that has virtually come to a stop since the fallout. There isn't anyone to talk to, seriously! I sometimes think its because I am Pacific Time and most everyone else is East Coast, Briths (????) or Australian time.
Either way, its kinda lonely stuck in the middle.
Piping down, thanks...
no subject
Date: 2009-03-21 12:21 am (UTC)I understand fully about needing someone to discuss WIPs - it's why the MadBetas came into being, so we would have someplace to talk over problems and ideas, really brainstorm with people we could be open with. That's what writers really need.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-21 12:26 am (UTC)