The Saga Continues - Another PM!

[ostarella]

Yes, she did! She sent me another one - which I again have sent to TPTB over at DS. Some neat quotes, folks:

"he was very hungover the Saturday of the Motor City Comic Con by his own admission during the his panel (which I have on camera now)"

Strange - because as I've said before, I was at that con and he certainly didn't look hung over to me. And I'd love to see her film of that panel (again, which I also was at) - must be a wonder in the world of "creative editing"

This referring to some person (no one I know, btw) who is apparently part of the infamous Dirkette Mafia (which, I'm proud to say, she now includes me as a member):

"she will pay for any vandalism to my mother's house no matter who really does it. I weigh more then she does, am stronger and I have my sanity."

Not only does that sound like an absolute threat, but my god - she has her "sanity" - by whose definition?

"I'm too grown up."

Right...

"Karma is a bitch and it does go around"

Does she even know what karma is?

She told me not to bother responding - and there probably is no point, as she would ignore anything I said. Funny, she's perfectly willing to say this crap in a PM but has yet to post publicly on DS. I'll bet when she does, it'll be so profound and full of truths it'll just knock our socks off...

Comments

[odonaill.livejournal.com]

She won't say anything on the DS board because she knows she'll get trounced if she begins the flaming. It's been made *very* clear to her how the other posters feel and what they won't tolerate.

She'll begin to single out individuals and use the PM system. That PM she sent ostarella was unprovoked and her "don't contact me again" is all part of the sick game she plays.

She'll instigate, then when the poster responds, she'll cry "they're stalking me!"

She seems to have this dillusion that she's constantly on DB's mind and she deserves to be front and center in his life. So she continues to bait and flame in order to stay in the "spotlight". It's the attention she craves.

She's like a child. If she can't get positive attention, she'll throw tantrums to get ( albeit ) negative attention. To her it doesn't matter. It's attention all the same.

[ostarella.livejournal.com]

As long as she stays off the forum, and lets everyone else enjoy it, I don't mind the PMs. I'd prefer she just disappeared, of course, but better a private tirade than put the last nail in the coffin of DS...besides, I can say things in any response pms that I wouldn't/shouldn't in public :p

[odonaill.livejournal.com]

Just be careful if you decide to respond to her in PM's because I can guarantee you, it will spill over into e-mails. Then you'll begin blocking and she'll just come up with another e-mail address to harass you with.

I've blocked 12 of them already.

She did this over on DBC. She came on and the staff, aware of the situation, let her stay because she stated she would not post, only view. She began to harass members via PM who contacted us and Dawg had a chat with her about the rules of the PM system. She went off on him and he promptly banned her.

If she can find a back door, she will.

[ostarella.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know not to take her lightly. Definitely. But I do have a "leg up", in that my "very protective" brother is a criminal attorney, and has many friends/acquaintances in the various DA's offices. So if she gets anything other than "buzzing fly" bothersome...

Big brothers are nice to have, sometimes ;-)

[ostarella.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've seen that. I don't know when this supposedly happened, but I do know the authorities take stalking more seriously now than they used to. And it all depends on the nature of the perceived threat, as well as what led up to it. A lot of that whole thing we just don't know. And frankly, I don't want to.

[ani-bester.livejournal.com]

Exactly! You had the right idea in what you said above, responding to specific things she's down *now*

That way, you know exactly what is going on.
And all she can do is make vague incoherent word vomit back at you -_-

I hope DS's policy on harassment via PM bannable too.

[mossy62.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't know half of what went on behind the scene in this case, because I'm not into it long enough, only the bits and pieces I read here and there. It looks indeed a little like pot calling kettle black. Believe me, I'm far from judging or favouring one side or the other, because of that. In fact I was pretty angry about the DBO part, although I don't know what is true or not. I only liked the place and was very sad when it closed down. All I know is that I don't like alienated's twisted and unreasonable attacks, be it against Dirk or someone in his fandom.

But as Tracy said, you can't reason with someone who is beyond reasoning with. She's provoking people, but is unable to take the echo. Choosing the battles is the way, ignore the small things, but tell her off when it gets too serious. And hope that she will keep it on the net and won't show up on anyone's doorstep. Because I think people like her are potentially dangerous and that's really scaring me.

[odonaill.livejournal.com]

Kind of makes you wonder why someone is so insistent they are a "fan" and "deserve to be here" when all they can do is really put down the person isn't it?

I've just found it easier to lock her out altogether and I don't sweat the small ( but really petty ) stuff. However, if she goes off full tilt like she did with the "drunk" accusation, I'll be ready. Somewhere, a line has to be drawn because if she had of made that kind of accusation in say a newspaper, she'd be hunting for a lawyer right now.

And at the end of the day, the only person she's hurting and making a fool out of...is herself.

[ostarella.livejournal.com]

The DBO thing always confused me. I was a member, but hadn't really gotten into it that much (more of an occasional lurker) and the next thing I know it's closed down, with all sorts of accusations back and forth. About all I know is they had the "red circle" thing going, and I saw some "unpleasant" posts that I wondered about. Probably why I didn't get into it that much. If anyone would like to clue me in - just a synopsis so I know what others are referring to, not the gory details - maybe just message me privately. Don't need to rehash all that here. ;-)

[bibbinut.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I know not to take her lightly. Definitely. But I do have a "leg up", in that my "very protective" brother is a criminal attorney, and has many friends/acquaintances in the various DA's offices. So if she gets anything other than "buzzing fly" bothersome...

Big brothers are nice to have, sometimes ;-)"

Good to know! :-D
We can always get a giant fly swatter if need be... ;-)

[bibbinut.livejournal.com]

"Just be careful if you decide to respond to her in PM's because I can guarantee you, it will spill over into e-mails. Then you'll begin blocking and she'll just come up with another e-mail address to harass you with.

I've blocked 12 of them already."

Twelve?! :-O

[billy-shriner.livejournal.com]

She's like a child. If she can't get positive attention, she'll throw tantrums to get ( albeit ) negative attention. To her it doesn't matter. It's attention all the same.

Then you should all choose to ignore her... Put it this way, that's what I do to my 3 year old when he pulls a strop!

[ostarella.livejournal.com]

Well, that's been tried. She just gets worse. I used to ignore my boy's tantrums, as well - but then when he started throwing things to get my attention - let's just say he got it. And he learned not to do it again. Unfortunately, she apparently doesn't catch on as quickly as a three-year-old...

[odonaill.livejournal.com]

That's true.
We've all tried the "reasoning" approach. That didn't work.
Then we tried the "calm and nice" approach. That went over like a lead ballon.
Then we tried the "ignoring" route. And she got louder.

You can't win with someone who is beyond reasoning with and will scream at the top of their lungs until *someone* turns around and notices it.

[billy-shriner.livejournal.com]

okay - so I can see that either way... you're not going to win (quickly)... I will never complain about my 3 year old ever again :D

okay - so comparing her to my 3 year old once again... another piece of advice I got (and I am by no means supermum here or anything) was "Choose your battles wisely." Some things I give in to, let my 3 year old win... others I don't. So with this, choose some things to ignore, and others, go all hell blazing :D

[ostarella.livejournal.com]

"Choose your battles wisely."

Definitely. There are a lot of little snide comments she's made that just aren't worth responding to. And a few more that required a subtle "yeah, right" type of response. Then there are the big ones, like accusing Dirk of being a drunk. *That* demanded a strong no-BS response. And basically, that's the progression of her comments - if something gets ignored, she ups the ante. And much as you'd like to ignore everything, on a public forum you really can't - not if you care at all about the people being maligned. Because there are people out there who don't know about her, and will actually believe the crap she spreads (not only about Dirk but about others as well). And I know if it were me being talked about that way, I'd like to think *somebody* would say something in my defense.

[odonaill.livejournal.com]

Well that's just it isn't it?
That's her MO. She does put in these little digs and for the most part people just shake their heads and don't respond, but when she gets the claws out and starts in on the totally outrageous, then your conscience says "I can't let her say these things because I know they aren't true" because there are those out there who *do* believe it.

I do not, nor did I ever, want this woman in my life. I don't want any battles of any sort, but when she comes on and says "he's a drunk", "he was stoned on his cruise", ... I mean..I KNOW this man. It couldn't be further from the truth and when a *friend* is being attacked, you're darn rights I'm going to stand up for them and set the record straight. Put it this way, if she's going to spout off she better have the hard proof to back up what she says. And she simply doesn't. She never did. All the things she said behind his back about his cruise she was on and bragging about "all her friends" who were "witnesses"...not ONE has come forward to back up *anything* she said. To this day.

He doesn't *deserve* this, none of us do.

[billy-shriner.livejournal.com]

And I know if it were me being talked about that way, I'd like to think *somebody* would say something in my defense.

Absolutely ;-)

[billy-shriner.livejournal.com]

oh obviously not as clever then ;-)

[bibbinut.livejournal.com]

"Well, that's been tried. She just gets worse. I used to ignore my boy's tantrums, as well - but then when he started throwing things to get my attention - let's just say he got it. And he learned not to do it again. Unfortunately, she apparently doesn't catch on as quickly as a three-year-old..."

I'll say! :-O