Backing away

[ostarella]

I'm seriously considering dropping off the net for a while. At least, not paying as much attention to various sites and blogs as I have been. I'm finding that there are altogether too many truly negative people. People who have a certain mindset and won't even listen, let alone change; people who complain about their lives and then unapologetically do more of the same things that caused their troubles; people who just can't find anything good to talk about. Even if I don't engage in conversation with them, that negativity seeps into my thinking. So I'm not going to pay attention to most of the blogs I've been watching, and I'll check the various groups to see if there's something I *need* to do (which does not include commenting on anything I'm not directly responsible for), but otherwise I'm going back to my normal state of non-involvement with anything other than my close friends and my own life's interests. Insular, perhaps, but definitely much happier and more productive.

Comments

[billy-shriner.livejournal.com]

okay - searches through journal... gosh I hope I'm not one of these people to have subjected you to negativity :-O

Hey, like I said before, you need to concentrate on your own stuff, writing etc. Then if you have time, deal with the other stuff. Which, how productive you've been lately, is hopefully what you are doing.

I'm going to say something typically British here... Don't let the bastards get you down :-P

[ostarella.livejournal.com]

No, you're not one of them (most of the time LOL) Seriously, everybody has a bad day and they'll blog about it - but there are some people who are just so consistently negative or combative... and you pay too much attention to them and you start getting that way yourself. And I don't like that feeling. Life's too damn short for that nonsense.

[billy-shriner.livejournal.com]

Phew! lol!

I know exactly what you mean. There are those that complain about things in their life, or whatever, but actually do nothing about it... apart from carrying on complaining about it. I don't have time for that sort either. If you're trying to do something about it, then I'll sympathise.

Agreed on the life is too short. Scares the hell out of me how short it could be. I think my biggest fear is getting hit by that bus, way before my time. So gotta make the most of it when you can...

Unfortunately some people almost enjoy being miserable... it's probably the only way they feel they'll get attention.

[ostarella.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there are people who want to be victims so they'll get attention, and there are people who have had a bad experience and let that color their whole life. And then there are others whose whole philosophy of life is anger at the world, fear that what they have will be taken away, fear that someone else might be happier than they are... so many excuses for being negative. Even their happiness is almost in defiance - "I'm happier than you in my squalid little world of anger and jealousy - so there!"

It's just sad, really.

[beckyblack]

Yeah, there's a couple of types, either whiners or drama queens who bug me. Drama queens at least have the benefit of being more entertaining sometimes, turning every small problem into a disaster, the biggest disaster since the last one! (Yesterday.) :D

[theteej2.livejournal.com]

Hear hear!

[beckyblack]

I think it's always worth having a clear out of blogs and the friends list and forums etc on a regular basis, so that you're only spending time on ones that are useful, enjoyable or enriching in some way.

[ostarella.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there are lists and blogs and forums I get involved in, but then I try to keep track and get engulfed in peripheral things and that's typically where the trouble lies. So like you say, I need to stick with the stuff I'm really into and just forget the rest.

[bevimoo.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean, and I understand it from both sides of the fence. I'm wary of posting about my 'problems' on blogs or Facebook. I'm careful about bogging people down with my nonsense, and mostly because I'm one of those people that's not at that stage where they are ready to do something about things - and I agree totally, it's boring and irritating for other people to read about. I'm just as impatient with others so I have no desire to piss people off with my day to day troubles (of, so they slip out now and then... :p ). Negativity is very infectious, it's a disease in itself, so you're doing the right thing distancing yourself. And if it means I get more chapters of Covenant... :D I would hope that I haven't contributed to your feelings at all, but given how little I post I'm assuming I'm not to blame. :p

You'll stick around here though, right? :(

[ostarella.livejournal.com]

Well, like I said, if someone's having a bad day or a bad experience and needs to vent, that's one thing. But having a negative outlook and expressing that in a variety of ways, day after day after lifetime... that's something else again. ;-)

And no, I'm not leaving lj - just won't be following some of the people on it that I have been. Let them be miserable with one less in the audience :D

[panthology.livejournal.com]

... won't even listen, let alone change; people who complain about their lives and then unapologetically do more of the same things that caused their troubles; people who just can't find anything good to talk about.

Yes. Oh yes. Aside from folks online, my mother has that same victim mentality, and for a long time I did too. For some it's attention-seeking, for others it's just 'black cloud', but either way it wears you down.

[ostarella.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you can only deal with that for so long and then - it's either beat 'em or join 'em, and I decided I was tired of joining them. Beating them means leaving them to their own misery.