I think some people do make a big deal about telling it like it is, but get so harsh that they can discourage people. A writer who's new certainly has to learn how to be thick skinned, but they may not yet be ready for a full-on critique. It might make them give up right away, because if they're being told that basically everything they have done is wrong, they're going to think it's too much to fix and give up.

Some people talk as if having a beta is something every writer must have and must have from day one. I don't think that's true. It think it can be something that a writer needs to build up to. I wrote just on my own for at least a year, then got onto the ATSB and from there started working with the bunnies, when I was more ready for more intense crit. I wasn't ready for that right away. I had little enough confidence back then, even constructively worded it would have sent me rushing back into my cave!