ostarella: (Goals)
Last month, I started working with a list of weekly goals. That didn't work out so well - too many 'incidentals' that interfered during the week. So I redid the whole thing, setting up monthly goals instead. I have a daily schedule - but it's only so I know how much time I have available for my various projects - not a set in stone "It's 3:00 - I have to be doing this now!". And it seems to be working much better for me. Already I have 19% of my goals attained for the month! Granted, there are some heavy-duty projects coming up - but I know how much time I have each day to work on them, little by little, and I'm actually feeling confident that I can achieve them. I expect a few bumps along the way - days when I'm just too damn tired to do anything, something goes awry with a project and it takes longer than expected - but that doesn't bother me. I know that over time I'll get more and more used to working toward the set goals, and keeping better track of time used and lost.

So onward and upward! :D
ostarella: (Goals)
Year ending the same as most years. Things I wanted to get done, undone. Things I expected not to happen, happened. Good intentions from 365 days ago still just that - intentions.

My biggest problem is that I think of all these things I must do/should do and then they get lost in the jumble of me little pea-brain. So I think I just need to develop the habit of writing things down WHERE I CAN FIND THEM EASILY. That's the big deal. I have notes scattered all over the house in cryptic shorthand - need to buy a little notebook that will fit in my back pocket with an equally accessible pen/pencil so as things occur to me I can jot them down. Then at the end of each day, I transfer these notes to the appropriate file/calendar so I see them when I need to.

I suppose trying to make up some sort of schedule would also help. But I don't know if it's age, habits, or just laziness that makes me not want to follow one. At least not a detailed one. Maybe just a general "This month I want to get this accomplished". Possibly then break it down to a weekly "I want to accomplish this" list.

Yeah. That could work.

Anyway... temps were in the upper 30s, low 40s the last couple days so a lot of snow melted away. Now waiting to see if the freezing rain/sleet hits this far north/west of the imaginary lines the weather people have drawn so I know if I'll get to work tonight. Yay - New Year's Eve in Walmart's Frozen Food Section!!!!
ostarella: (Goals)
Year ending the same as most years. Things I wanted to get done, undone. Things I expected not to happen, happened. Good intentions from 365 days ago still just that - intentions.

My biggest problem is that I think of all these things I must do/should do and then they get lost in the jumble of me little pea-brain. So I think I just need to develop the habit of writing things down WHERE I CAN FIND THEM EASILY. That's the big deal. I have notes scattered all over the house in cryptic shorthand - need to buy a little notebook that will fit in my back pocket with an equally accessible pen/pencil so as things occur to me I can jot them down. Then at the end of each day, I transfer these notes to the appropriate file/calendar so I see them when I need to.

I suppose trying to make up some sort of schedule would also help. But I don't know if it's age, habits, or just laziness that makes me not want to follow one. At least not a detailed one. Maybe just a general "This month I want to get this accomplished". Possibly then break it down to a weekly "I want to accomplish this" list.

Yeah. That could work.

Anyway... temps were in the upper 30s, low 40s the last couple days so a lot of snow melted away. Now waiting to see if the freezing rain/sleet hits this far north/west of the imaginary lines the weather people have drawn so I know if I'll get to work tonight. Yay - New Year's Eve in Walmart's Frozen Food Section!!!!
ostarella: (Default)
Sleep, that is. Over the last 24 hours, I slept for all but about five of them. I could not stay awake. I'd get up for a bit, do some wandering over the internet, and then find my eyes closing. Finally woke up about 7:30 this morning and actually felt like I was fully awake. I guess all the stresses of the last few weeks/months caught up with me. I know I feel much more clear-headed than I've felt for a long, long time. Which has allowed me to think about a variety of things and come to terms with them. I also need to make some hard decisions about where my life is and where I want it to go. I know there are going to be things happening that I won't like and that will be hard to deal with - but I used to be able to deal with those and now I'm going to have to pull myself up and do that again. There are also things I've wanted to do but have felt like doing them was either out of reach or out of my control - and now I know I have to look hard at them, decide if I really, truly, want to do them - and if so, start figuring out how to get them. Take them out of the "wishful thinking" realm and put them firmly into reality.

Ironically, I think it's been the things that have been out of my control that made me realize that I need to firmly take control of the other things, not think that life as a whole is spinning on its own axis and I'm just along for the (hell)ride.

I should sleep for a day more often, I guess.
ostarella: (Default)
Sleep, that is. Over the last 24 hours, I slept for all but about five of them. I could not stay awake. I'd get up for a bit, do some wandering over the internet, and then find my eyes closing. Finally woke up about 7:30 this morning and actually felt like I was fully awake. I guess all the stresses of the last few weeks/months caught up with me. I know I feel much more clear-headed than I've felt for a long, long time. Which has allowed me to think about a variety of things and come to terms with them. I also need to make some hard decisions about where my life is and where I want it to go. I know there are going to be things happening that I won't like and that will be hard to deal with - but I used to be able to deal with those and now I'm going to have to pull myself up and do that again. There are also things I've wanted to do but have felt like doing them was either out of reach or out of my control - and now I know I have to look hard at them, decide if I really, truly, want to do them - and if so, start figuring out how to get them. Take them out of the "wishful thinking" realm and put them firmly into reality.

Ironically, I think it's been the things that have been out of my control that made me realize that I need to firmly take control of the other things, not think that life as a whole is spinning on its own axis and I'm just along for the (hell)ride.

I should sleep for a day more often, I guess.
ostarella: (Goals)
Today was my only full day off - and I'm taking my time with getting stuff done. And not letting myself feel guilty about it, either! LOL  But I decided that as of the 1st (since I like starting things at the beginning) I'm going to use my work schedule ('busy' from 9PM to 8AM) for my daily schedule. I'll devote two hours of every day to a project, either indoors or out depending on weather. If I feel like working longer, I will, but I won't feel guilty if I stop at just two. Then two hours will be spent on writing - I'm still trying to decide if it should be every other day fanfic/original or just what I feel like working on that day. I'm kinda thinking I should have a more definitive schedule so I don't waffle about trying to decide. (Yeah, I know - discipline! How ghastly!) But those two things (projects/writing) definitely get two hours each, every day. And I'll plan for 6 hours sleep every day - more or less than that and I feel as if I hadn't slept at all. Whatever time is left will be for whatever I feel like doing (which on non-work days means a lot of extra time for projects/writing/FUN). Again - guilt free!

I think this time it will work. Mostly because it's really turning into fall now and that's always my most productive time of the year. And I've allowed plenty of flexibility in other things so I won't feel like I should be doing something else during my writing/project times.

Now we'll see if it actually works or if I just have to admit to being totally disorganized and undisciplined...
ostarella: (Goals)
Today was my only full day off - and I'm taking my time with getting stuff done. And not letting myself feel guilty about it, either! LOL  But I decided that as of the 1st (since I like starting things at the beginning) I'm going to use my work schedule ('busy' from 9PM to 8AM) for my daily schedule. I'll devote two hours of every day to a project, either indoors or out depending on weather. If I feel like working longer, I will, but I won't feel guilty if I stop at just two. Then two hours will be spent on writing - I'm still trying to decide if it should be every other day fanfic/original or just what I feel like working on that day. I'm kinda thinking I should have a more definitive schedule so I don't waffle about trying to decide. (Yeah, I know - discipline! How ghastly!) But those two things (projects/writing) definitely get two hours each, every day. And I'll plan for 6 hours sleep every day - more or less than that and I feel as if I hadn't slept at all. Whatever time is left will be for whatever I feel like doing (which on non-work days means a lot of extra time for projects/writing/FUN). Again - guilt free!

I think this time it will work. Mostly because it's really turning into fall now and that's always my most productive time of the year. And I've allowed plenty of flexibility in other things so I won't feel like I should be doing something else during my writing/project times.

Now we'll see if it actually works or if I just have to admit to being totally disorganized and undisciplined...

It's Over

Dec. 27th, 2009 05:14 am
ostarella: (Thoughts)
My son left about 20 minutes ago. My brother's driving him up to the airport. We had a lot of fun the last week, watching Lost episodes until 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning, rearranging the dining room so we could put up the tree and decorate. My brother came down Wednesday night so we had the whole family together for three full days - playing Hero Quest for hours on end and every few minutes chasing Fang out of the Christmas tree. To him, it was cat heaven with all the tempting bright things hanging from the branches. And we ended up not going to my niece's house, just because the weather was so unpredictable.

But now, of course, comes the hard part. It always seems like life is just on "temporary mode" when John's not here and only gets into gear when he's home. But I'm thinking about my New Year's resolutions more seriously - and realistically. I've gotten pictures of RVs posted above my desk - to remind me of why I need to do the stuff on my To Do List. It's just too easy to get bogged down in the day to day crapola or overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things to do - so having those pictures up will remind me to step back, think about that goal - and then work on the next thing on my list and the hell with the rest of it until its turn.

But, for today, I'm going to wallow in a bit of Self Pity and Lonesome, watch my new Wizard of Oz dvds and try to forget that my son won't be back for another six months...

It's Over

Dec. 27th, 2009 05:14 am
ostarella: (Thoughts)
My son left about 20 minutes ago. My brother's driving him up to the airport. We had a lot of fun the last week, watching Lost episodes until 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning, rearranging the dining room so we could put up the tree and decorate. My brother came down Wednesday night so we had the whole family together for three full days - playing Hero Quest for hours on end and every few minutes chasing Fang out of the Christmas tree. To him, it was cat heaven with all the tempting bright things hanging from the branches. And we ended up not going to my niece's house, just because the weather was so unpredictable.

But now, of course, comes the hard part. It always seems like life is just on "temporary mode" when John's not here and only gets into gear when he's home. But I'm thinking about my New Year's resolutions more seriously - and realistically. I've gotten pictures of RVs posted above my desk - to remind me of why I need to do the stuff on my To Do List. It's just too easy to get bogged down in the day to day crapola or overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things to do - so having those pictures up will remind me to step back, think about that goal - and then work on the next thing on my list and the hell with the rest of it until its turn.

But, for today, I'm going to wallow in a bit of Self Pity and Lonesome, watch my new Wizard of Oz dvds and try to forget that my son won't be back for another six months...

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