|needles / piercings||electrocution||minor illness or injury||atonement||fever / delirium|
|cuddling||learning to be loved||panic attacks||gaslighting||shipwrecked|
|first transformation||bruises||WILD CARD||insomnia||accidental mating for life|
|imprisonment||falling||loss of limb / amputation / mutilation||surgery||healers|
|mutation||fire||explosion||comfort food or item / feeding someone||poisoning|
Author: TheCrazyAlaskan / fireweed15
Fandom / Setting: Original – 1758
Characters / Pairings: Shula Demirci, Azar Demirci, Lily Demirci (polyship)
Word Count: 2,454
Warnings / Notes: Written for Round 8 of the Hurt / Comfort Bingo: Poisoning; dubiously self-translated Turkish
Summary: She was far from the only person who knew her deadly plants—and no more invulnerable than any other man.
Little to no context for you, typing up bios would take forever. They're some OCs a friend and I spitball back and forth with each other lmao
-- -- --
SIGH. Sigh everything, basically.
I got the tier levels for Patreon mostly sorted out, I got some bio stuff up there, I think the next step is to figure out the coding for the polls and Tuckerization and then
(then I forgot to finish and post this because of Chester Bennington's suicide throwing me entirely off my stride and sending me to the couch of despair and ennui for the rest of the night.)
But I did manage to wake up on time and get through the morning stuff, including doing a bunch of exercises which I haven't done in a couple of days. Though to be entirely fair Wednesday's lack of morning exercise is always because I go to capoeira class in the evening.
Having one of those days where apparently I can't say anything on Twitter without it turning into Discourse, usually involving some form of "you're wrong and this made me angry that you're wrong" so instead I ended up staying off Twitter and going through some old writing, and writing a bunch of summaries of my various worlds for Patreon. And then remembering that I'd written this thing and that thing and finding this other thing in my documents folder that I'd forgotten. And getting utterly distracted by everything.
(Note to self: this weekend you are rereading Pen Bryton and the Storms bits and the "what the shit is this?" thing to familiarize yourself, not to edit it and redo it for posting and publishing all at once.)
Blergh. I have a hair appointment, which because I'm a socially anxious idiot I forgot to say "no I can't do this at 10 I have a class" so instead of doing capoeira tomorrow I will be getting my hairs cut and then running several blocks to capoeira, so this is going to be interesting. I would skip but Deutschkind is going to be there and I haven't seen her in ages and if nothing else I can catch the last 30 or so and play games and sing songs and be ridiculous with my capoeira peeps. And then apparently there will be endless errands after.
I'm in a weird headplace such that I feel scattered because I did that stupid scheduling thing, but I have a plan to deal with it, other things are moving forward, and I'm keeping up with my writing and to some extent my languages so I don't feel entirely behind? Or out of control of things. But. I don't know, it's all very weird. I guess I'll take it though. It's not bad, just a bit left of center. Also my Patreon is almost ready and a lot less nerve-wracking to get through if it's going to be monthly, stupid Patreon and your weird inability to get a coherent explanation of how per-creation setup works. You couldn't just have it be like a Kickstarter and then when you've delivered all the tier rewards it wipes it all down and you can start another one? Ugh.
Still No Word by Shannon Webb-Campbell
I read this slowly and several times. I have trouble writing about poetry, but I liked the clarity and feeling here.
Chalk by Paul Cornell
Hard to know what to rate this one. I think it does what it's trying to do with great effectiveness, but I'm not really interested in what it's trying to do? The story does claustrophobic, creepy and bleak, pretty well wall to wall, which I think is very true to the author's experiences, but like with Gaiman's Ocean at the End of the Lane (with which this shared a lot of elements), I'm not that invested.
I liked a lot of the struggle for significance in the face of meaningless cruelty, and the storytelling itself was delightfully creepy (for those into horror), but it was a hard read.
The Firebrand and the First Lady: Portrait of a Friendship: Pauli Murray, Eleanor Roosevelt, and the Struggle for Social Justice by Patricia Bell Scott
I knew very little about Mrs Roosevelt and nothing about Pauli Murray going in, and loved finding out about them. The book primarily focuses on Murray and her life, with the interactions with ER highlighted and context of ER's life at those times added. It doesn't shy away from their weaknesses and mistakes, which is nice in a positive bio. I felt that it gave me a strong understanding of both women, and of how their interactions with politics changed over the years. I now want to read bios of all the other amazing women they crossed paths with along the way.
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith, narrated by Kate Burton
I really enjoyed this. It's sort of meandering and reflective, with time jumps and backstory, but I just liked spending time living with these characters. There was a core of good intentions and kindness in most of them, even if most of them didn't always live up to that. The period setting was phenomenal.
The Quartermaster: Montgomery C. Meigs, Lincoln's General, Master Builder of the Union Army by Robert O'Harrow, narrated by Tom Perkins
Perhaps a little heavy on lauding our hero, rather than letting his achievements stand on their own, but absolutely fascinating for all that. I would have liked more on the mundane logistics of the Civil War supply system, and maybe a bit less building things before the war, though the War Department politics were very interesting.
The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead, narrated by Bahni Turpin
I can't figure out if this book is not as clever as it thinks it is, or if I'm just not smart enough to get it. A problem I have with a lot of litfic, to be honest.
I was initially cooler on it, but reading some interviews with the author gave me a better idea of what he was doing, and that helped my appreciation of the book.
I admit that I did not find the surface narrative of Cora's escape that interesting, though I liked Cora herself, and it was kind of neat to pick out threads from various real slave narratives. The alternate history elements in the Carolinas were also pretty neat, though they didn't really tie into the railway being an actual railway, which frankly I don't get the point of.
There were themes of story telling and who gets to have a voice/tell the story of enslaved people, which I didn't really pick up on myself, but appreciated after hearing the author talk about it.
All in all I liked it, but don't really get the buzz.
Adrift on the Sea of Rains (The Apollo Quartet, #1) by Ian Sales, narrated by Jeffrey Schmidt
Competent alternate history, which is mostly enjoyable because of the massive amount of NASA nerdery. Though props to the author for starting the series with such an unlikable protagonist (the kind of man who thinks he's the best ever, but is clearly not someone who should be in charge of a gas station, let alone a moon base). The tech conceit was a bit handwavey, but it got the story where it was going, and I enjoyed how it unfolded.
The Eye With Which The Universe Beholds Itself (The Apollo Quartet, #2) by Ian Sales, narrated by Jeffrey Schmidt
Again with pleasing NASA nerdery (though stop explaining abbreviations! anyone this far down the NASA rabbit hole knows what LEO stands for, let alone USAF! I liked the conflict between civilian NASA and the Air Force space corps.
However, the hero is more or less why I don't read SF by dudes unless it's recced. His entire character is basically Sad Because His Wife Left Him. There are no significant women in the story other than the ex-wife.
I also didn't believe the central plot point, which I won't spoil, but will say was a handwave too far in terms of science. You can't just wave the word "Quantum" around and expect me to believe it. I might not have minded as much if I'd liked the hero, but here we are.
Then Will The Great Ocean Wash Deep Above (The Apollo Quartet, #3) by Ian Sales (Goodreads Author), narrated by Trina Nishimura
I mean, It's always nice to read an AU where the Mercury 13 got to go to space, even if they continued to get screwed over by NASA, but I didn't find the plot of this one very compelling. Sales clearly couldn't think of much to do with female astronauts other than have them do the same stuff all the guys had done and then cheat them out of the moon walk, so half the plot is about a male deep-sea diver who is looking for a spy satellite's cargo. I basically felt like I was reading a non-fiction book about the US spy program, with a Korean War AU on the side. Thin on both characterisation and plot. Author describes make and model of every plane, train and automobile in story. Does not need to do this.
Paris 1919: Six Months That Changed the World by Margaret MacMillan, narrated by Suzanne Toren
I know everyone read this when it came out ages ago, but I admit to having read the preface and then skipped to the bits about T.E. Lawrence, at the time, so this is my first go through.
I really appreciate the historical perspective, and how the author kept focused on the conference, but provided the background for each of the major regions and disputes. The personalities of all the diplomats were very well drawn, and I liked the heavy use of quotes and original sources. They helped keep me engaged in the storyline.
The conclusion regarding the spin out from the peace conference was very interesting, and I'll have to check out more books on the topic.
What I'm Reading Now
Theoretically a couple things, practically not much.
What I'm Reading Next
Going on a trip starting tomorrow, so probably a lot of romance novels. *remembers to charge e-reader*
Today, okay, I still stayed up too late the night before playing silly games on my phone but I managed to get out the door intact and with my capoeira clothes, work is slower, writing is happening, and I might even get my Patreon up by the end of the week. I adjusted it back down to monthly and am working on reshaping the goals because if I'm describing myself as trying to replace income, that makes more sense than having it be per-creation. Also Patreon is absolute shite at explaining how per-creation works, and possibly shite at making per-creation work without charging people either more or less than they should be charged. Oy.
So, monthly it is. Which means figuring out what my expectations of myself are going to be and how to articulate it to my audience and so on. Possibly also figuring out how PHP and maybe a couple other languages work because I'll want to put in input forms on my website at some point. That's going to be fun.
Starlight, despite yesterday's exhausting clusterfuck of a day, is still continuing apace. [redacted] happened and there was much frenzied discussion of books and it looks like that's going to go smoothly up to the point where someone else has to decide that this is a worthy thing to happen, but I'm used to that. Thanks years of submitting novels and so on. I think I mentioned that I went to the second stage of PandaMoon submission slush pile, but in case I didn't, yes, I went to the second stage, word-vomited up some answers to some very silly questions, was complimented for my thoroughness, and now that's being read. I'm actually really pleased with Turing Shrugged so while I'm fairly uncaring whether it gets accepted or not, I'm... hm. What's the right description here? I give no fucks for pro publishing or self publishing but I'm proud to have submitted the best version of it that I had? Something like that. And pleased to be read and hope they like it but if they don't, reasonably sure it's because it's just not their cuppa rather than because I wrote a shitty novel. There's satisfaction in that.
Also I think Starlight will actually be finished, in a draft, by the end of the year because somehow I've gotten a lot better and a lot faster and more efficient at writing second drafts. Go figure. Hopefully a lot more efficient and faster at writing when I have an idea of the overall structure in general but that doesn't necessarily translate; an outline is a lot different than a first draft and it might take several tries to figure out where the fuck the story is supposed to go. Not there! Not there. Not there.
I actually feel okay about going to capoeira tonight. This may make the second night in a row considering I skipped Saturday because oh dear god between headache and all argh. What is this madness???
I'm just really invested in the OT3.
Normally with a show, I'm fairly come and go on canon ships working out, obviously it's very nice when there's gay ones and they go well, and it's even nicer when there's gay ones and it's troup soup with a happy ending. But normally I'm like, will they get together? I hope so? I guess? (Phryne and Jack being a possible exception for canon ships.) Mostly I just hope for a minimum of aggressive stupidity.
And then my usual response to love triangles is A Plague on Both Your Houses! Become a Lesbian!
But this show, man. I'm going to be REALLY upset if Dolls turns out to be a jerk and Wynonna picks Doc, or if Doc dies and she picks Dolls by default, or whatever stupid reason is brought up to shuffle one dude off and make her choose the other one. Not because I'm tired of stupid love triangle logic (which I am), but because I really want her to end up with both of them. There's no reason she couldn't. They're both hard core into her enough to be okay with it (Doc certainly, Dolls... needs work but I can see it). Wynonna publicly does not give a shit for conventions, and is nuts for both of them. I FAIL TO SEE A PROBLEM.
(Plus Dolls and Doc seem to have taken up flirting, and when their backs aren't up about the stupid love triangle, they genuinely get along.)
I know I won't get an actual triangle, but we could at least have a Dolls\Wynonna/Doc? Right? That's a thing you can do on weirdo horror westerns set in Calgary?
This show is going to break my heart, isn't it?
SO THAT WAS FUN. I didn't go to capoeira. I spent most of the weekend huddled on the couch watching animated movies and NCIS and happily vacationing in the land of not coping.
Everything still feels sleepy and weird but I at least did get a bunch of work things done and almost all the writing done yesterday to get up to par. So that's good. I watched Lilo and Stitch for the first time, yes, I know, and really enjoyed that and cried at the this is my family part like everyone else (I imagine) and then watched Kubo and the Two Strings and cried at the ending part about stories and memories (because it hit home pretty hard) and spent most of Saturday crying off and on and most of Sunday feeling tired and crying less.
Turing Shrugged is still in the running for the one small press publisher, and I don't know how I feel about that. I still haven't heard back from the one lawyer despite sending two emails so lots of swearing, fuck that, I think I'm giving him till the end of the week and then writing him off. Um. So Malachy's on hold there, I'm working on Starlight still. That might even be done by the end of the month. I need to do Patreon shit but my focus was shot all weekend for it. I need to update my website with my blog, that might happen towards the end of today's work day. As far as general stuff goes I'm doing surprisingly well for having had a hit to the psyche over the weekend. I'm just tired and sad and erratic and having feelings and anxieties all over the place still. Somewhat. We'll see.
I need to start reading again. That might help. Reading fiction, not nonfiction, as much cool nonfiction as I've been reading lately. And I need to stop thinking about David Z but that's not going to happen anytime in the next 24.
Baptized by your mess again by aphrodite_mine
Wynonna Earp. Doc/Dolls. The needle hits.
a beginning by boudour
Wonder Woman. Diana & Etta. After the fight, Diana goes to see Etta.
Grandmothers For Peace by st_aurafina
Wonder Woman. Diana & Etta. 1958, The Atomic Research Weapons Establishment, Aldermaston
Last Rites Deferred
Wynonna Earp. Doc/Dolls/Wynonna. Prompt: hurt/comfort, sacrifices, imprisonment, injuries.
Paris at Peace
Wonder Woman. Diana & Etta. Prompt: Diana exploring new parts of the world.
The Silmarillion. Tar-Míriel/OFC. Prompt: faithful, devotion, to the very end, escape.
I also finally wrote commentary on all five suggested fic for the DVD commentary meme.
New World Intervals: Mucca sends Steve and Tony to an alien planet and leaves them there.
Left Turn at Harmony Falls: Sara Lance gets girlfriend, discovers feelings hard, tries to punch feelings, fails.
A New Dream Every Morning: Steve does something mean to Tony. Then he does it again.
Dead Lava Streets: Mucca makes another rarepair tag, reads seven books for one fic. (Joe/Howard)
Undiminished (The Planets and Islands Remix): Mucca is too fucking clever for own good, points out sucktitude of Leia's life in detail.
I am, obviously, in actual tears over the Doctor Who news.
ETA: picture_prompt_fun has a special POV challenge this week.