things...

Nov. 13th, 2012 02:30 pm
ostarella: (Why me)
[personal profile] ostarella
Had our first snow that stayed yesterday. Stayed in that it didn't melt as soon as it landed this time, and there's still some snow in the sheltered spots. Thankfully just a 'dusting', but depressing regardless. Every winter I find myself hating it more and more. They say we're supposed to get more snow than usual this year, which is bad, but it typically means slightly warmer temps, which is okay. Not good, but okay.

At work, I'd put in for the Saturday after Thanksgiving off, since my son will be home for the holiday for the first time in 12 years. So what did they do? Scheduled me for Saturday but gave me the following Tuesday off. So when I go in to work tonight, I have to get that straightened out. God...

Tomorrow I'm going down to a neighboring town and put in some applications - a couple part-time, a couple full-time. I'd prefer part-time, but I need to build up a nest egg again. The last few months have been really, really expensive, for a variety of reasons. I just need to get out of the job I have now. When you start getting depressed the day before having to go to work, it's definitely time to look for something else.

Saturday was the ninth anniversary of my mom's death. In January, she would have been 100 years old. You'd think I'd be okay with things by now, but there are so many days when I just really, really miss having her and Dad here. And of course, now I'm starting to wonder who we're going to lose next year. My oldest brother in '83, my dad in '93, my mom in '03 - I'm hoping the trend has ended, but my siblings are 73, 72, and 59, and of course, I'm not immune.

Yeah, just a crap day full of crap thoughts...

Date: 2012-11-13 09:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] billy-shriner.livejournal.com
I know that dreading work feeling, and it's coming back to where I work again. I was getting to like the place better, (never loved it) because the people I work with have become friends. But the new manager has just shifted the equilibrium of the place. She's not a bad person... just poor at managing I think.

I wonder if we'll get more snow this year. I think it feels like practically every day in the UK it has rained... so as winter comes, and it becomes colder, rain turns to snow, right?

I lost my nan on Sunday :-( She was 86 - same age as the Queen. Although it is sad, it is also a relief, because she was in pain and couldn't get out of bed etc. leading no life. She was disgusted with herself, but she couldn't help that she couldn't get out of bed, so weak. :-(

I no longer have grandparents. That's a sign that I'm getting older too :-(

I'm hoping 2013 will be the start of my new life. I was thinking 2012 would be it... but it has actually been a tough year. I've set things in motion, but it's been pretty bleak, with the adding of my nan dying. 13 is a lucky number for me ;-) I'll try to spread it to you too :D
Edited Date: 2012-11-13 09:52 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-11-13 10:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ostarella.livejournal.com
Oh, so sorry about your nan. But you're right - if she was unhappy and in pain... And you know, when people get to a certain point in life, they're ready for it, really. It's not a death wish or anything like that, but they're... well, ready for it. When my cousin died two years ago, she had time to plan her funeral and was very matter of fact about it all. She did what she could to fight the cancer, but then it was "Okay, this is what's going to happen, so let's do it right.". I know that I'm ready for it - well, other than wanting to get the yard and house taken care of :p But with my son well on his way, and nobody really depending on me for anything, there really isn't anything holding me here.

Ach! Off on another tangent...

Date: 2012-11-13 11:43 pm (UTC)
beckyblack: (Default)
From: [personal profile] beckyblack
It was twenty years this year since my mum passed away and I definitely still think about her and what she'd think about everything that's happened in that time. She was only 52, so she'd have been 72 this year. It does make me think about my health a lot, since it's not going to be that many years before I'll be the age she was when she died. Most of my health indicators are good, blood pressure is perfect, no sign of diabetes. I've got to lose some weight again, but I'm getting there now I'm back on Atkins. But cancer can get anyone, any time, even the fittest and richest people, so the rest of us are stuffed.

God, work. Since we got taken over at the start of this year, I hoped things would change, but they haven't really. There've been some superficial changes, but deep down, things are the same as they ever were. Every day that I'm in there I feel like starting to dig a tunnel out. I guess for now I just have to keep working hard on my writing and hope that maybe one day I can do that full time. Not many people can though. Oh and I am definitely building a nest egg. I don't get out much anyway with the writing! I'm building my savings account up nicely, to give me that financial backup should I ever take the big step of leaving the day job.

Date: 2012-11-14 12:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ostarella.livejournal.com
That nest egg is so important. The "Drop Dead Money" - at least six months' worth so when you get damn good and fed up you can tell the boss to drop dead! LOL

Date: 2012-11-14 06:29 am (UTC)
beckyblack: (Default)
From: [personal profile] beckyblack
LOL, yes, I've got enough for that in my quick access account and then some more in a two year, higher interest one, so I'm primed! :D

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